You come across an ad that says “Maggie Sottero Trunk Show this weekend.”  What does it mean?  Basically, a trunk show heightens the experience of selecting your bridal gown.   Many designers have offered this option to salons in order to show more of their dresses on any given weekend, for that time only.  Often times, it’s a sneak peak of what will be shipped for the upcoming season, an exclusive “preview”.  You get to view and order from the designer’s brand new collection before it even hits the stores.

When a bridal salon carries a designer, it is not likely that they carry every style they offer.  A trunk show is an opportunity for the salon to offer you an extended inventory from a particular designer for that short time period.   An added bonus is usually a discount on these gowns that is offered exclusively during the dates of the trunk show.  Since some designers prohibit discounting, waiting to purchase a gown during a trunk might be worth the wait.

A trunk show might even offer the designer in person.  You may get to meet Madeline Gardiner from Mori Lee or David Tutera from Mon Cheri.  When the designers make a special appearance at a trunk show, they share their knowledge and answer questions about anything; from their inspiration, why they chose a certain fabric, to what might be the best fit for you.  While the bridal consultants should be skilled in this area, it is an added bonus to hear this right from the top, from the person that carefully designed each stitch of the most important piece of clothing you will ever wear.  So if you are looking for a wedding dress from Allure Bridals that you cannot find anywhere, you may very well find it at the next trunk show.  Or if your gown budget was $900 and the Casablanca dress is $1000…then the trunk show might be right for you.

This  blog is Part Two

Misconception # 4:  I need to get the approval of…

This trend seems to be growing.  I believe that too many “approvals” can create confusion and setbacks and they tamper with the “wow factor” that should be reserved for the wedding day.   Wedding gown shopping is an intimate experience.  It is an honor that should be awarded to a select few.  Think about whom has had the most influence on your life and share the experience with that person/people.   Who has honored you in your life that you can honor now?

Misconception # 5:  “I just started looking”  “I have only been to one store”.

I truly believe that our consulting staff has amazing taste.  I also agree that, like the brides, we have individual tastes.  When it comes to buying our bridal lines, we involve our entire staff.  They are the staff with years of experience.  They watch the models, listen to the designers, follow the trends and listen to brides every single day.  They pin girls in, hook girls up and, in the end, work with the seamstresses on achieving the proper fit.  They live the life of bridal styles and trends day after day.  It is with this knowledge that our girls go out and choose the upcoming line.  I make this point because I truly believe that all styles and tastes and trends are represented in the hundreds of dresses that we sample.  On the rare occasion that we feel that something is brought to our attention that we may have missed, we honor the request and try to get the sample for the customer.  With a huge selection, combined with the knowledge of the staff and as long as you feel complete, one store is all that is necessary.

This is your wedding.  There really are enough rules in life.  Selecting what style you choose to wear on your wedding day should does not come with a set in stone list of guidelines.  Keep it fun.  Keep it simple. Allow space inside to just be you.  Choosing your wedding gown should be a wonderful experience!

Finding a perfect wedding gown is really quite simple.  Did I really just write that?  Combine the mood of the bride and the energy of the occasion with the expertise of the bridal consultant in a room full of amazing and intricate dresses that you will be wearing just once and that should equal exciting and uncomplicated.   Multiply this scenario with choice overload; too many opinions; recorded wedding messages from outside sources playing over and over in your head.  That’s when finding “the one” becomes a challenge.  I must admit, entering a bridal salon to a sea of white elegance classified into individual styles can seem a bit overwhelming.   There are tulle dresses on the left; pick ups straight ahead; destination styles on the right; some with sleeves right over there; lace dresses around the corner; couture dresses over here.  All this after you have spent hours, maybe days, looking at styles on the internet.  How do you narrow it down?  Add that to all of the voices advising the bride on what they “should” do and you may get swallowed up, but only when you stop listening to yourself.

When it comes to wedding gown selection, every personality is unique.  All cliché’s do not work for all.  There is no universal “sign” or formula that can be applied to every bride.  Every bride does not just “know” when it’s the “right one”.  Every mom does not cry.  Every family member present for the process does not always agree on the same style, and everyone does not need to gain approval before making their choice (although it would be convenient.)  The truth is we have different tastes.

The following are a few hasty ideas that I experience over and over again that I cannot help but to disagree with.  While there is no black and white answer, there is certain truth that each bride that walks in to our salon, deserves the support to be herself.  Our bridal consultants try to communicate the importance of this not only to the bride but also those that come to assist with the gown selection all in the spirit of honoring and supporting the bride’s unique and individual qualities.

Misconception # 1: You know it’s the right one when you cry.

It is true that we see a lot of tears.  It is also true that a certain moment or dress triggers this emotion.  It is not true that it happens to everyone.  We all have different ways of handling different situations.  Some people cry at graduations, hallmark cards, baseball games, funerals.  Some people don’t.  We are all made unique (how amazing is that?).  Some people arrive at decisions and some people know right away.  We all know people who dive right into a cold pool and we all know people who put their toes in to feel the water.  There are even some people that don’t go in the water at all.  Some people feel emotion when trying on wedding gowns.  Others do not.  Embrace your personality and how you are wired and be yourself.

Misconception # 2:  Everyone present should agree.

It is easiest to choose a bridal gown when everyone present has the same taste and agrees on the same style.  This, obviously, cannot always happen.  What happens when mom and daughter come in to the showroom and it is obvious that they have two different tastes?  What would be ideal to happen is that the mom recognizes how happy a particular style makes her daughter feel and the difference in tastes pales in comparison to what her baby girl is feeling.  Sometimes, onlookers get wrapped up in thinking that it is there job to make the choice for the bride, help her so strongly so she does not make a bad choice.  The truth is that the job of the “support” team, meaning those the bride has chosen to be a part of the process, is to honor the bride and her experience.  If she likes a style, support her opinion and be a true friend.

Misconception # 3:  I have to try on every dress in the store.

It is not important to try on every dress, but it is important to nail down your style.  On my occasional shopping visits to Nordstrom Rack or TJ Maxx, I am sometimes drawn to a gorgeous top that I absolutely love.  Years of experience has taught me that the style is great… for someone else.  I must refocus and remember that there are styles for everyone.  We all have different bodies.  There are certain cuts that work better for certain bodies and there is no point in trying to make myself look good in this style when I know that style will make me look and feel better.  This is especially true in bridal wear. We are all unique.  There are thousands of beautiful dresses.  What is the body that suits you?  Being unsure is okay.  Usually it becomes apparent by trying three different bodies, as guided through the knowledge of a good bridal consultant.  From there you can eliminate and cater to what direction works best.  Stick with the good feeling styles and enjoy the ride.

I will have more misconceptions posted in our blog next week.

This is the time of the year in the bridal industry and specifically for us at Bridal Suite of Bay Shore, that lends itself to the season. As the leaves begin to change, it is important to take some time to sit back and reflect on what is changing, and how we can see the beauty in those changes. There is a choice to make when the colors rain down to the ground and the chill enters the air. Do we see the opportunity to take a walk in the woods and bake something yummy in the oven or do we moan about the chill in the air and complain about the winter coming? We have a choice on how we view everything.

I often bring this this season of change into the bridal salon and harvest the opportunity to make improvements. As the holidays approach us our traffic dwindles just a bit. It is a time when myself and the staff get to fall back and reflect. What did we do this year that was right? What can we make better? How can we be the best choice for every customer walking through the door and truly identify with what they are looking for? The truth is, we are up against challenging times. People feel slighted. People want “something”. We want to feel as if they can get that "something" here. The changes can be simple. They have to make a difference, however. We thought that a good way to begin our reflection was with something as simple as a thank you, as often as we can. We now send thank you cards to all of our customers; those that have chosen to purchase with us, and those who have not yet decided. We include a “token” of thanks to all of our parting brides, as well. Thank you for being a part of our family, for choosing our service, for being here.

Have you noticed that smiles are harder to come by these days? Who would have ever thought that it would be difficult to make someone smile? A personal goal for me is to make more people smile and see the good in everyone. I think about the job my staff is doing. “Look at Antonella, her warm welcome made that customer feel at home.” or “Monica went out of her way to tell that customer how beautiful she looks.” or “Andrea offered only positive comments and solutions today.” I can find something positive in any of the staff. It is a choice. I feel really blessed with this staff (or I can choose to point out the negative.)

A physical change we made just this week was to lower our prices. Times are uncertain for most of us. I know we all worked harder this year than ever. My employees were amazing. Nobody made more money. They just reached deeper and worked harder. Lowering prices took some work. In working closely with our manufacturers, we were able to lower many of the prices on our bridal gowns offering the lowest prices allowable by our contract with them. When you combine this with the service that we offer, there isn’t much of a better offer.

We will never be finished reflecting. Falling leaves and the change of seasons will repeat itself time and time again. As long as we make the choice to honor the season and put forth the changes to just “be better” and to “better serve”, our mission is worthwhile. And "Thank You" for reading.

I had the pleasure last week of visiting with Girl Scout troop 1613. Their quest at the Bridal Suite of Bay Shore was to obtain specific requirements so that they can earn their business badge. (Though I must admit that some of the motivation for visiting might have been to try on pretty dresses!). This group of girls was awesome. My job was to give them a little bit of an understanding of what is involved in starting up and operating your own business. In preparing, I wanted to get this group of 10 and 11 year olds thinking about things that they wouldn’t normally think about from a business perspective. While I do believe that we accomplished the task at hand, I think the gift that the girls gave to me was far greater than what I was offering them. So many different personalities...and among the traits were confidence, certainty, uncertainty, shyness, boldness, energy, reservation… etc. etc. etc. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity of sharing my business experience with them. The onset of the gathering started a little hectic for me as I was juggling at least one extra ball, as always… but my “assistants (daughter, then mother)” quickly came to my rescue and I relaxed, smiled and settled in. The girls listened reverently. They asked questions with the raise of a hand and asked intelligent questions (beyond what I think a 10 year old should comprehend). I was surprised at their interest. My disillusionment about how children are becoming spoiled, wavered for the evening and we all had a good time. During that evening, I was reconnected with the reasons why I went into business in the 1st place. Questions were asked about the daily and unobvious expenses I incur as a business owner. What do I like most and least about being my own boss and how important it is to maintain a good reputation? I learned about the hopes of the future of these 5th graders and I took a few moments to honor their dreams. Toward the end of the session, we learned about what type of business the girls would be interested in. It looks as though I will have some competition with a few bridal store owners, but doctors, silly bands and lotion store were some other aspirations. In the end, the girls decorated the windows of their own choice, and they did a fabulous job. Oh… and they were rewarded with a little “dress up” time which they loved.

For the past six weeks I have been bringing Dreya to work with me. She is my teenage daughter. I had mixed emotions about this at the beginning. I like submerging myself in whatever I do and I was worried that I would not be able to separate parenting from employing. I decided to go in with an open mind. I have come to find that having three generations working together in one place is rather warm and comforting. It's a minute melting pot of it's own in a sense. First, there is the sheer wisdom and experience of my mother, mixed in with own experience and energy, sprinkled with the sponge of my daughter willing to take in any information being offered by her "employer"... not to be confused with her "mother". I like this. I am inspired by Dreya's ability to retain the information being fed to her. It's rather cool to say things one time; know that she is remembering; and will apply when necessary. It has also changed our mother/daughter time to some degree, because on the drive home we are on a different level together. I respect her as a young adult and I think she feels this. So the scale containing those mixed emotions about having 3 generations working in one place has shifted its weight. And for this, I am grateful.