This  blog is Part Two

Misconception # 4:  I need to get the approval of…

This trend seems to be growing.  I believe that too many “approvals” can create confusion and setbacks and they tamper with the “wow factor” that should be reserved for the wedding day.   Wedding gown shopping is an intimate experience.  It is an honor that should be awarded to a select few.  Think about whom has had the most influence on your life and share the experience with that person/people.   Who has honored you in your life that you can honor now?

Misconception # 5:  “I just started looking”  “I have only been to one store”.

I truly believe that our consulting staff has amazing taste.  I also agree that, like the brides, we have individual tastes.  When it comes to buying our bridal lines, we involve our entire staff.  They are the staff with years of experience.  They watch the models, listen to the designers, follow the trends and listen to brides every single day.  They pin girls in, hook girls up and, in the end, work with the seamstresses on achieving the proper fit.  They live the life of bridal styles and trends day after day.  It is with this knowledge that our girls go out and choose the upcoming line.  I make this point because I truly believe that all styles and tastes and trends are represented in the hundreds of dresses that we sample.  On the rare occasion that we feel that something is brought to our attention that we may have missed, we honor the request and try to get the sample for the customer.  With a huge selection, combined with the knowledge of the staff and as long as you feel complete, one store is all that is necessary.

This is your wedding.  There really are enough rules in life.  Selecting what style you choose to wear on your wedding day should does not come with a set in stone list of guidelines.  Keep it fun.  Keep it simple. Allow space inside to just be you.  Choosing your wedding gown should be a wonderful experience!

Finding a perfect wedding gown is really quite simple.  Did I really just write that?  Combine the mood of the bride and the energy of the occasion with the expertise of the bridal consultant in a room full of amazing and intricate dresses that you will be wearing just once and that should equal exciting and uncomplicated.   Multiply this scenario with choice overload; too many opinions; recorded wedding messages from outside sources playing over and over in your head.  That’s when finding “the one” becomes a challenge.  I must admit, entering a bridal salon to a sea of white elegance classified into individual styles can seem a bit overwhelming.   There are tulle dresses on the left; pick ups straight ahead; destination styles on the right; some with sleeves right over there; lace dresses around the corner; couture dresses over here.  All this after you have spent hours, maybe days, looking at styles on the internet.  How do you narrow it down?  Add that to all of the voices advising the bride on what they “should” do and you may get swallowed up, but only when you stop listening to yourself.

When it comes to wedding gown selection, every personality is unique.  All cliché’s do not work for all.  There is no universal “sign” or formula that can be applied to every bride.  Every bride does not just “know” when it’s the “right one”.  Every mom does not cry.  Every family member present for the process does not always agree on the same style, and everyone does not need to gain approval before making their choice (although it would be convenient.)  The truth is we have different tastes.

The following are a few hasty ideas that I experience over and over again that I cannot help but to disagree with.  While there is no black and white answer, there is certain truth that each bride that walks in to our salon, deserves the support to be herself.  Our bridal consultants try to communicate the importance of this not only to the bride but also those that come to assist with the gown selection all in the spirit of honoring and supporting the bride’s unique and individual qualities.

Misconception # 1: You know it’s the right one when you cry.

It is true that we see a lot of tears.  It is also true that a certain moment or dress triggers this emotion.  It is not true that it happens to everyone.  We all have different ways of handling different situations.  Some people cry at graduations, hallmark cards, baseball games, funerals.  Some people don’t.  We are all made unique (how amazing is that?).  Some people arrive at decisions and some people know right away.  We all know people who dive right into a cold pool and we all know people who put their toes in to feel the water.  There are even some people that don’t go in the water at all.  Some people feel emotion when trying on wedding gowns.  Others do not.  Embrace your personality and how you are wired and be yourself.

Misconception # 2:  Everyone present should agree.

It is easiest to choose a bridal gown when everyone present has the same taste and agrees on the same style.  This, obviously, cannot always happen.  What happens when mom and daughter come in to the showroom and it is obvious that they have two different tastes?  What would be ideal to happen is that the mom recognizes how happy a particular style makes her daughter feel and the difference in tastes pales in comparison to what her baby girl is feeling.  Sometimes, onlookers get wrapped up in thinking that it is there job to make the choice for the bride, help her so strongly so she does not make a bad choice.  The truth is that the job of the “support” team, meaning those the bride has chosen to be a part of the process, is to honor the bride and her experience.  If she likes a style, support her opinion and be a true friend.

Misconception # 3:  I have to try on every dress in the store.

It is not important to try on every dress, but it is important to nail down your style.  On my occasional shopping visits to Nordstrom Rack or TJ Maxx, I am sometimes drawn to a gorgeous top that I absolutely love.  Years of experience has taught me that the style is great… for someone else.  I must refocus and remember that there are styles for everyone.  We all have different bodies.  There are certain cuts that work better for certain bodies and there is no point in trying to make myself look good in this style when I know that style will make me look and feel better.  This is especially true in bridal wear. We are all unique.  There are thousands of beautiful dresses.  What is the body that suits you?  Being unsure is okay.  Usually it becomes apparent by trying three different bodies, as guided through the knowledge of a good bridal consultant.  From there you can eliminate and cater to what direction works best.  Stick with the good feeling styles and enjoy the ride.

I will have more misconceptions posted in our blog next week.

April 2011

The wedding rage is upon us.  It has been for some time.   Back in 2006, on a Sunday in July, WE Television ran an episode of “Bridezillas” that ranked as one of the networks highest rated original TV series in the network’s cable history.  This, just 3 years after the premier of the show.  Wedding reality TV has become somewhat of a craze.  There is rarely a customer who walks into our showroom that doesn’t use the term ‘bridezilla’ in some context.  “I’m not a bridezilla” or “She is a real bridezilla.”  And without question we all know what the word means whether Webster recognizes it or not.

I switch channels and walk through the showroom.  I over hear “I feel like I’m watching ‘Say Yes to the Dress’” from a customer who has accompanied her daughter on her wedding dress excursion.   Because I am not a wedding reality TV regular, I sometimes feel as though I am missing something, as my customers and employees chatter about last night’s episode.  I have to remind myself that we are actually the reality.  But still I am curious.

So I find myself waking early one morning.  I scheduled a date with youtube.com to check out what all the chatter is about and ironically, to see if I could possibly by missing something that I think I live.  I wonder if I will learn something.  I wonder if I, too, will become an addict, and admittedly I wonder if they could possibly have one up on us when I watch “Say Yes to the Dress”. I park at the computer and begin watching.  I feel the addiction start to tease me.  I challenge myself.  I know which dress is right for that bride and I want to tell her.  I do not even have to look at the dress.  I just need to see her face.  I get heated and want to speak through the TV… “you can’t have everyone’s approval… you cannot let a 5 and 7 year old choose your dress…    and you look so beautiful your eyes lit up when you put that on.”  Then I decide to save it for the showroom.  I feel proud, in a sense, because I am confident in the expertise we possess as an established and reputable bridal salon.  I am reassured that my staff is amazing.  They council, they guide, they listen and they lead.  It is a gift that I am grateful for.  In some of the situations I say to myself, Tamy should be helping that bride, she would understand her situation… or Maryellen would know what dress to pick.  So in the end, I decide, I am not missing out on the reality TV wedding craze.  My showroom is the reality.  Though, I can relate to the obsession.

In the end, I decided to research the available wedding television shows available just to insure that using the word obsession or craze was justified.   I was quite surprised to find 24!!.  This does not include the newly launched prime time show  “Shedding for the Wedding” that airs at 9/8c every Wednesday night on CW network.  I peruse the titles and realize that I do not have the time to watch every one.  The titles alone are enough to intrigue me and put a smile on my face.  Who knows, maybe I’ll start a new blog series and critique them one by one?  But first, I have a business to run.  Oh and for your viewing pleasure, here is the list of shows that I came up with… just in case you’ve missed one!

“Amazing Wedding Cakes”, “Bridal Bootcamp”,“Bridezillas”, “Buff Brides”, “ Bulging Brides”, “Engaged and Underage”, “Four Weddings”, “Get Married”, “I Propose”, “Married Away”, :My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding”, “My Big Redneck Wedding”, “My Fair Wedding”, “Platinum Weddings”, “Rich Bride Poor Bride”, “Rock the Reception”, “Rules of Engagement”, “Say Yes to the Dress”, “Shedding for the Wedding”, “The Real Wedding Crashers”, “ The Wedding Bells”,“ A Wedding Story”, “Til Death”, “Wedding SOS”, “Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?”